Recipe for Disaster

Speak to the Lumbridge Cook. Dialogue: Do you have any other quests for me? → Angry! It makes me angry! → What seems to be the problem? → YES

Speak to him again with items in inventory. Dialogue:

Enter the door behind the Cook and watch the cutscene.

Inspect the dwarf.

Go to the Rising Sun Inn in Falador and talk to Emily or Kaylee. Pay her (Ring of Charos(a) persuades her for free) to learn how to make Asgoldian ale. Dialogue: What can you tell me about dwarves and ale? → I could offer you some in return, how about 200 gold?

Use coins on your Asgarnian ales.

Go to the tunnel under White Wolf Mountain.

Talk to "An old Dwarf" (Rohak) and give him Asgoldian ales until he agrees to make a dwarven rock cake.

Talk to him 3 times and he will place a dwarven rock cake on the table. (His name will change to Rohak)

If you have ice gloves, equip them and pick up the cake. Otherwise pick up the cake with regular gloves then kill an icefiend (at Ice Mountain) to cool the cake. If you forgot to use the ice gloves, you can drop the cake, equip your ice gloves, and pick the cake back up to cool it.

Give the dwarven rock cake to the dwarf in Lumbridge.

1 Quest Quest point

1,000 Slayer Slayer experience

1,000 Cooking Cooking experience

(Further) access to the Culinaromancer's Chest.

Inspect one of the goblin generals.

Go to the Goblin Village and climb down the ladder in the north-east building.

Talk to the Goblin Cook (Mudknuckles). Dialogue: I need your help... → What do you need? Maybe I cam get it for you., then talk to him again and give him the charcoal. Dialogue: I've got the charcoal you were after.

Talk to the Goblin Cook again. Dialogue: I need your help...

Slice an orange and add blue, green, or purple dye.

Use spice on a fishing bait.

Use a bucket of water on bread.

Talk to the Goblin Cook again. Dialogue: I've got the ingredients we need...

Give the slop of compromise to the generals in Lumbridge.

1,000 Farming Farming experience

1,000 Crafting Crafting experience

Inspect Pirate Pete.

Talk to the cook in the next room about protecting the pirate. Dialogue: Protecting the Pirate

Go through all 5 chat options. Dialogue: Where do I get Ground Cod? → Where do I get Ground Kelp? → Where do I get Ground Giant Crab Meat?3 → Where do I get Breadcrumbs? → What do I do with all of it?

Use your pestle and mortar on the raw cod.

Use your knife on the bread and make breadcrumbs.

Talk to Murphy in Port Khazard. Dialogue: Talk about Recipe for Disaster.

Talk to Murphy again. Dialogue: Yes, Let's go diving.

Equip your fishbowl helmet and diving apparatus, agree to go diving.Dialogue: Talk about Recipe for Disaster. → Yes, Let's go diving.

Pick some kelp.

Go north and talk to Nung.

Go west and pick up 5 rocks, then enter the cave.

Kill 5 mudskippers (level 30/31) for 5 hides.

Talk to Nung twice.

Enter the crab pen, kill at least one crab and take its meat (acquire multiple in case the fishcake is burnt).

Use your pestle and mortar to grind the kelp and crab meat.

Talk to the Cook in Lumbridge about freeing the pirate again. Dialogue: Protecting the Pirate

Use the ingredients (ground cod, breadcrumbs, ground kelp and ground crab meat) on each other then cook the fishcake.

Give the fishcake to Pirate Pete in Lumbridge.

1,000 Fishing Fishing experience

1,000 Smithing Smithing experience

The ability to go diving and fight crabs (you need your diving apparatus)

The ability to cook crab meat (heals 10 hitpoints in 5 bites)

The ability to kill crabs to get their shells and claws, which can be made into a helmet and gloves with a chisel

(Further) access to the Culinaromancer's Chest

Inspect the Lumbridge Guide. Dialogue: Yes, I'm sure I can make a cake.

Talk to Wizard Traiborn on the first floor of the Wizards' Tower. Dialogue: Ask about helping the Lumbridge Guide.

Talk to him again to enchant the egg by identifying 3 mystery NPCs. Dialogue: Ask about helping the Lumbridge Guide. → Ok. Let's start!

Man with ponytail and book - Reldo

Ghostly green woman - Velorina

Man with desert robes and white beard - Ali Morrisane

Elf - Islwyn

Man with purple shirt - Unferth

Man with brown vest - Professor Gronigen

Woman with pink top - Gertrude

Woman (green witch) - Hetty

Man (hooded) - Pirate Pete

Man with a crown - King Lathas

Talk to him again to enchant the milk by answering trivia. Dialogue: Ask about helping the Lumbridge Guide. → Ok. I'm ready!

Defence requirements to wear a Mystic hat - 20

Ingredients in a cake - Flour, egg, milk

Combat level of Goblins near Lumbridge - 2

GP to bribe an Al Kharid gate guard - 10

What doesn't lie between Morytania and Asgarnia - Keep Le Faye

Gold ring is to 5 as a holy symbol is to - 16

Glass vial is to 33 as a glass orb is to - 46

Guild closest to Fishing Platform - Legends'

Bar west of Pollnivneach - Bandit Camp

The River Salve runs from - North to south

I can hear howling in one direction and buzzing in the other—where am I? - Catherby

If I'm going to need glass, first I will need - Sand, bucket, soda ash, glassblowing pipe

Which tower is closest to the Crafting Guild - Dark Wizards' Tower

Take the number of fire runes required to cast Fire Strike, and multiply by the number of air runes used to cast Wind Strike before adding the number of earth runes used to cast Earth Wave - 10

Talk to him a third time to enchant the flour with a memory test. Dialogue: Ask about helping the Lumbridge Guide. → Quiz me!

Take a screenshot of the items and then close the interface via the X button to answer the questions.

Do not use the ESC key to close the interface as it will reset that portion of the test!

Which item began with the letter 'm'? - Mind Talisman

Which of the following items were NOT shown to you? - Trout

How many weapons were you shown? - Three (Maple Longbow, Magic Shortbow and Black Longsword)

How many types of rune were there? - Two (Fire Rune and Chaos Rune)

Which items were amongst those you were shown? - Book of Balance (noted as Guthix Prayer Book,) Magic Logs, Pike

Use one of the ingredients on the cake tin, then cook the raw cake.

Give the cake of guidance to the Lumbridge guide.

2,500 Cooking Cooking experience

2,500 Magic Magic experience

Inspect Evil Dave

Talk to Evil Dave in Edgeville (down the trapdoor). Dialogue: What did you eat at the secret council meeting? → You've got to tell me because the magic requires it!

Talk to Doris upstairs.

Use your cat to catch hell-rats (right-click chase on your cat). Using a fully grown cat is much more efficient, but using a kitten still works.

Collect spices from hell-rats. There are 4 spices to collect: yellow, orange, red, brown. Collect at least 3 doses of each.

Now find the perfectly spiced stew with the right quantity of all 4 colours of spice.

Figure it out one colour at a time by adding different quantities of a colour and giving the stew to Evil Dave. When he says "...I think you've got the amount of one spice right..." you know the correct dose for that spice (be sure to finish the dialogue with Dave, otherwise you will not be able to give him the stew in Lumbridge).

Start by adding 1 dose of a colour to a stew, and if that isn't right add 2 doses of that colour to a stew; if 1 or 2 doses are not right, you know 3 doses is the correct dose for that colour.

Give Evil Dave the completed stew, then give him that spicy stew in Lumbridge.

7,000 Cooking Cooking experience

The ability to catch hellrats to get a Hellcat

The ability to have your cat fight Hell-Rat Behemoths

The ability to add coloured spices to stew by catching hellrats (Spicy stews can boost and lower certain stats)

Inspect Skrach Uglogwee. Dialogue: Yes, I'm sure I can get some Jubbly Chompy. → Oh Ok then, I guess I'll talk to Rantz.

Talk to Rantz Dialogue: I'm trying to free Skrach, can you help? → Ok, I'll do it.. (You can use the fairy ring code AKS and run east)

Go south-east and talk to Rantz by the coast. Dialogue: Ok, here I am...I guess this is the watery place? What now?

Use your woodcutting axe on the fallen tree twice.

Talk to him again. Dialogue: Ok, the boat's ready, now tell me how to get a Jubbly?

Get some raw chompies if needed.

Go to Karamja and find the tree with an arrow in it (small tree on the coast, just south of transportation icon west of Tai Bwo Wannai).

You can use the fairy ring code CKR and run north along the coast to the west to find it

Light a fire next to the tree, use your iron spit on a raw chompy, then cook it.

Board the ogre boat. Dialogue:

Talk to Rantz south-east near the coast. Dialogue: Ok, now tell me how to get Jubbly!

Collect a bloated toad from the nearby swamp.

Make sure your ogre bellow has at least 1 charge remaining

Get a rock from the mine by Rantz' cave.

With the rock and ball of wool in your inventory, use the ogre bellows on the bloated toad for a balloon toad.

Drop the balloon toad and kill the Jubbly with ogre arrows. You may have to attempt multiple times.

Cook the Jubbly on Rantz's spit-roast.

Give the Cooked jubbly to Skrach Uglogwee in Lumbridge.

1,500 Woodcutting Woodcutting experience

1,500 Cooking Cooking experience

1,500 Crafting Crafting experience

1,500 Ranged Ranged experience

The ability to use the boat trip to travel between Karamja and the Feldip Hills (you must pay a fee of chompies or exotic herbs)

Inspect Sir Amik.

Ask the cook how you helped Sir Amik Varze. Dialogue: More... → More... → Protecting Sir Amik Varze

Use milk on cream.

If you need a pot of cornflour, grind raw sweetcorn in a windmill and fill a pot with it.

Add the pot of cornflour to the milky mixture.

Pick a vanilla pod in the Kharazi Jungle (SW of the pool used in Legends' Quest), add it to the cornflour mixture.

Talk to the Wise Old Man in Draynor, ask about strange beasts, then the Evil Chicken. Dialogue: I'd just like to ask you something. → Strange beasts → The Evil Chicken Make sure you finish the dialogue or you will not be able to proceed.

Use a raw chicken on the Evil Chicken shrine in northern Zanaris (where you arrive from the swamp.)

Run north past the dragons and kill the Evil Chicken, pick up its egg and add it to the brulee.

Kill a black dragon, there is a safespot to the east, pick up the dragon token.

Grind a dramen branch with a pestle and mortar to make cinnamon, add it to the brulee.

Return to Zanaris through the southern portal.

Equip ice gloves then rub the token. Dialogue: Please flambe this creme brulee for me.

Give the Brulee supreme to Sir Amik in Lumbridge.

4,000 Cooking Cooking experience

4,000 Hitpoints Hitpoints experience

Access to the Evil Chicken's Lair, where you can fight black dragons (The fowl beast himself has moved on to other things.)

Inspect Awowogei.

Travel to Ape Atoll, equip a monkey greegree and M'speak amulet.

Talk to Awowogei south of the temple.

If you need a banana and monkey nuts, buy them from the food store now.

Talk to any of the 3 monkeys in the north-west corner of the temple. Dialogue: Do you know anything about the King's favourite dish?

Use your Banana and Monkey nuts on any of them. (Ensure you use both your Banana and Monkey nuts on them or else the Tchiki nuts will not appear on the bush.)

If you already have a gorilla, ninja, and zombie monkey greegree then skip this part.

Buy 3 blank monkey talismans from the rune store.

Kill a monkey archer in the market and take its bones. (Protect from Missiles)

Kill a Monkey Guard in the temple and take its bones.

Kill a zombie monkey under the temple and take its bones.

Bring the bones and talismans to Zooknock at the end of the Ape Atoll Dungeon.

Note: You should take at least 3 snake corpses, red bananas, and tchiki nuts in case you burn the stuffed snake (use the drop trick for the nuts and the banana).

Travel to Crash Island and climb down the pit. Kill some level 84 big snakes for their corpses. (Recommended to pray melee before descending into the pit)

Return to Ape Atoll and find the red banana tree north-west of the big gate (by the shore).

Equip your gorilla greegree and use a rope on the tree to get some red bananas.

Equip your ninja greegree and enter the Ape Atoll agility course.

After swinging the rope, enter the hole and pick some tchiki nuts.

Grind the tchiki nuts, slice the red banana, and add them to the snake corpses.

Equip your zombie greegree and enter the temple dungeon.

Go down one of the ramps and enter the crack in the wall between the two ramps.

Lay your stuffed snake on the rock to cook it (requires 70 cooking).

Give the cooked stuffed snake to Awowogei in Lumbridge.

10,000 Cooking Cooking experience

10,000 Agility Agility experience

Ape Atoll Teleport spell

You will need 175 Quest Points and complete Desert Treasure I and Horror from the Deep before entering the portal.

Remember, you can bank between every kill. Enter the portal and defeat without prayers:

Agrith-Na-Na – Range or melee it, wear dragonhide.

Flambeed – Mage him with water spells + snare. He can unequip your weapon, unless you are wearing ice gloves.

Karamel – Run into melee distance and use fire spells. Ranged and melee work as well, but are less accurate. She will lower your stats frequently. Bring at least 2 restore potions. If going melee, use super combat potions

Dessourt – Mage (air spells or Iban blast) or range him. Snare will help.

Gelatinnoth Mother – Bring runes for all 4 elemental spells, a melee weapon, and a ranged weapon. Aim for high range defence without sacrificing too much magic attack.

Culinaromancer – Attack with whatever you can hit hardest with. Most of his damage comes from a magic attack that hits at a flat 1-in-3 rate, so your magic defence is irrelevant.

Congratulations, quest complete!